Mornings With Duo
by Natasha Radinov
Summary: Duo and his caffeine addiction, other pilots plotting against him, Quatre reading La Blue Girl. 'nuff said. Chapter 2!
1. It Begins

Yep, it's me again! And you probably thought I was dead! *sticks tongue out* Well actually, there's probably no one reading this, but so what! __

Okay, so this is my first real attempt at humor so forgive me if it sucks. I had fun writing it.

This takes place when the guys are just in some miscellaneous safe-house somewhere. There is really no actual romance or couples anywhere (except for possibly in my twisted author's notes).

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Italics = character's thoughts

a/n = author's notes

Disclaimer: look, if I owned GW Relena would be _very_ different (note that I'm not going out of my way to insult her). Does that answer your questions? ///_^

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Mornings with Duo

"Duo! Breakfast time!" Shouted Quatre, knocking on 02's bedroom door. Silence, then*Schnorrre* _Ooh, we've gotta get him that anti-snoring surgery. Someday soon he's going to break his nasal membrane! _Quatre mused, while trying to open the door. Unfortunately, it was locked. 

"Heero, would you please come up here?" he called down the stares.

Within seconds Heero was there, giving Quatre an inquisitive glare.

"I can't wake Duo up from here, so would you please break down the door again?" Quatre explained.

"Mission accepted," Heero said (emotionlessly) while backing up towards the wall.

*Slam splinter splinter* said the door, not being able to hold up to The Perfect One's mass strength. Splinters of wood showered down on the boys.

The braided occupant of the room had not yet stirred. 

Quatre and Heero carefully picked their way across the junk-strewn floor. Manga was in stacks here and there, and clothes were heaped wherever there was otherwise clear space. On the black-sheeted bed lay the still sleeping Duo, looking like an angel except for the dirty manga that he had apparently been reading before he fell asleep still clutched in his hands.

And so the two made their way across the sea of junk.

"Ouch! Shit!" Shouted Heero as he stepped on what appeared to be a car transmission (jagged pieces of metal and all) partially hidden under a pair of black boxers with little pictures of hair-care products on them.

"Tsk, tsk. He really needs to clean his room, doesn't he?" Quatre observed.

Heero just glowered and let off another stream of curses.

"Wow, when you're mad you actually talk quite a lot." Quatre, master of the understatement.

They finally made it across the junk, and stood over Duo.

Quatre picked up the manga lying on Duo's chest. "Hmm, what's this? 'La Blue Girl'? I've never heard of it. I wonder what it's about. Let's see" He started to open the book.

"Quatre, no! You don't want to see that!" Heero shouted, jumping forward.

But it was too late for the innocent blonde angel. He opened the book to a particularly nasty picture.

"Aaaaaggh! I'm contaminated!!!" He then did a perfect Olympic-style leap over the Sea of Junk and ran down the hall towards the bathroom. Retching noises were then heard.

Heero frowned. _I tried to warn him_ he thought, tossing the book into a huge pile of Snickers™ bar wrappers in the corner of the room.

Sighing, he proceeded to drag Duo out of bed by his braid.

When Duo's head got banged on the car transmission, he started to wake up.

"Uughh What the hell? Dammit, leggo of me! I wanna sleep!" he shouted crankily, trying to grab onto various articles of furniture and junk.

"My, my, aren't you cranky this morning," Heero said, shaking his head.

"Shut up" was Duo's snappy retort.

"C'mon Duo, everyone's waiting for you!"

"No! Leave me alone!"

Heero sighed and dodged the half-eaten piece of watermelon thrown at him.

"Damn it Duo, why are you always such a pain in the ass in the mornings?!" (A/n: not in that way, people. Get your minds out of the gutters! Well, I guess just the fact that I even thought of that shows where my mind is! ;-)) Heero asked, showing a rare bit of his feelings.

"Because I wanna sleep, you unemotional raccoon!"

"Uh, Duo, that 'insult' didn't really make any sense," Heero observed.

"So what?! You get the point!" Duo growled, trying to kick his "attacker".

By now they were to the top of the stairs.

"Get ready for a bumpy ride," Heero warned just as he started to descend the stairs, towing Duo carefully while dodging his kicks.

*B-bump-b-bump-b-bump-b-bump*

When they reached the bottom, Duo looked a little bit banged up.

"Owchie," he murmured, his eyes looking a bit glazed over.

But miraculously, (as so often happens in anime) he managed to make his bruises and scrapes disappear within moments.

"Sorry Duo, but it was the only way. Come on now, breakfast's ready," Heero said as he dragged his dazed companion along with him.

Upon nearing the kitchen, the smell of coffee wafted through the air.

"W-wait a minute, do I smell coffee? Whoopee! C'mon Heero, my man!" With that, the braided pilot leapt up and dragged Heero into the kitchen.

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Wow, he sure can change fast when coffee's involved! He's too dependent on caffeine, though Heero brooded.

"Good morning Duo. Thank you for getting him up, Heero." Quatre looked abnormally pale, but otherwise okay.

Wufei was sitting at the table meditating, Trowa was reading the newspaper, and Quatre was at the stove making tea. The table was covered with plates of pancakes, waffles, tea sandwiches (guess whose), and cups of (drum-roll) COFFEE!!!

Duo, of course, immediately zeroed in on the caffeinated beverage. 

Acting as if he hadn't had anything to drink in weeks, he lurched forward and grabbed a cup, not seeming to notice that he had knocked Wufei out of his chair in the process.

"MAXWELL! I WAS MEDITATING!! INJUSTICE!!!" the angered Justice-Boy shouted.

Duo just happily gulped down his coffee and poured about half a gallon of maple syrup on his stack of pancakes.

"Sohowiseveryone?I'mjustpeachy!Let'sdosomethingfuntoday!Iknow,wecansetRelena'shouseonfire!!!" He said, talking insanely fast, due to the sugar rush.

"We really have to do something about his caffeine and sugar consumption,"

Heero sighed.

To be continued

Okey-dokey, that was the first chapter.

I know that I'm not very good at writing humor, but I can try!

Right, so please, Please, PLEASE review, and give me suggestions!

I might not continue this if I don't get any feedback.

Thanks for reading, anyway.

~Natasha Radinov (Chimaera)


	2. Now the madness REALLY starts!

Yaayyyy! I'm back, since some people actually seemed to like the first chapter, I wrote another one!

To everyone who reviewed: Thank you so much! You're what keeps me going.

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Italics = a character's thoughts

a/n = author's notes

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, nor NOFX. I'm just borrowing them! *wahhh*

NEWayz, On wit da fic!

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Mornings With Duo ch. 2

Duo grinned maniacally, shoving the rotting, stinking squirrel carcass behind Wufei's desk.

"Hehehe!This'llstinkupWu'sroomformonths - even_after_hefindsit!" He babbled to no one in particular, still not recovered from his sugar and caffeine buzz.

"OKnowtoHee-chan'sroom!" He took one last whiff of his handiwork and whizzed out of the room, carrying a bag full of bottles and jars of glitter.

***

Meanwhile, the other boys were busy hiding any sugared and/or caffeinated products inside Wing Zero. It was a well-protected hiding place, plus the snacks might come in handy on come upcoming mission.

Duo had gotten out of hand before, but generally not as bad as this time.

The guys were fed up.

"Okay, that's all of it," Quatre announced, closing Sandrock's cockpit. "Now let's get inside and see what chaos Duo is up to."

Everyone agreed, and cautiously walked into the house, wary of any traps the Braided-One might have set for them. So far it didn't look too bad. Then **of course** Wufei **had** to knock over the conveniently placed bucket of flour set on the very corner of the kitchen counter.

Covered in flour and looking like **very** murderous ghosts, they trekked on.

So far the house didn't look too bad. Some knocked over furniture here and there, but nothing too serious.

Suddenly, they heard music blaring from the living room, accompanied by shrieks of joy.

We'd better see what Maxwell's up to," said a very irritated-looking Wufei, a muscle twitching above his right eye. Apparently, he had no love for NOFX.

They then came upon Duo, squealing/singing/shouting along with the lyrics coming from the stereo. He was throwing himself around the room, while doing what looked like some sort of interpretive dance involving crude gestures.

He was also covered with pink glitter that made a very nice contrast to his black outfit.

Heero grabbed Duo by the braid. Trowa ran and turned off the music. "Nataku bless you for turning off that obscene racket!" Wufei thanked Trowa. (A/n: Wu-kins' opinion does _not _reflect this author's. Just thought to let you know before any of you start writing out flames ^_^*)

"Noooo!Mymusic!Heywassupdudes?!WannaknowwhatIdidtoRelena's-" before Duo could finish his no-doubt long, run-on sentence, the phone rang. Heero went to answer it.

After a minute, he came back. "Duo, that was Relena. She says that someone egged her house and covered her limo with graffiti. She asked me if I could find out who did it. What were you just saying about her?"

The End! (To be continued)

***

Ok, so it's kind of a cliffhanger (of sorts), so if you want more, please let me know by reviewing! *hint hint*

Again, thanks so much to you people who already reviewed! Also, suggestions are very welcome! *hint hint* So please, take one minute off from your (I'm sure) _very _busy schedule, and make my life much happier! (Constructive criticism is also welcome, but note the word "_constructive._"

Flames will be burned by me and my friends, Tasuki and Dilandau here.

Tasuki: Mwahahaha! Rekka Shinen!!!

Radinov (me): Aah! Tasuki, no! That's my plushie collection!!!

Dilandau: Heeheehee! Here Tas, lemme help! Moeroooooo!!!

Radinov: Noooooooo!!!

Okaaaaayy, bai bai now.


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